How To Make Peanut Butter Toast

Step One: Toast your bread. What kind of bread? Good question. NOT Rye. Caraway seeds are tiny little explosions of putridness. Instead, how about a nice 12 Grain? Any Whole Wheat variety is good. For special occasions, I like anything with Oatmeal or Nuts... Today, I use Country Kitchen "Oatnut."

Step One-point-five: Make sure you toast your slice at around Medium-High. Enough to get a nice crisp to things, but nothing too dark. And we're not just warming our bread up here. Toast means it's toasted. Turn that dial up, please.










Step Two: Remove toast from toaster. Don't burn yourself. Patience, geez! Let it sit there for, like, three seconds. No need to be hasty.

Step Three: Begin with a smooth, thin layer of Nutella down the middle, vertically.












Step Three: Smear a good portion of peanut butter over each remaining half, overlapping a tad with the nutella. Now--and this is important--the peanut butter must be natural. No hydrogenated oils, please. Teddy's is a great choice. The Smucker's Natural is actually better than expected. Smooth or Chunky: AYW (as you wish). I'm not entirely without feelings, you know.












Step Four: Fill in the hazelnut-less halves with a smattering of jam. I like blackberry or raspberry (with seeds!). If you're feeling up to it, go for an Apricot. Marmalade is an advanced maneuver... proceed with caution. Only under the most dire of circumstances will I abide by Grape Jelly. Think about the repercussions of your actions for once.












Step Five: Split vertically down the middle, so that each half has a bit of Nutella on each side. Then, dunk in coffee and enjoy. Behold, the finished product!

The salty of the peanuts, the sweetness of the jam, the warmth and creaminess of the Nutella, the subtle crunch of the toasted bread... a more perfect combination of flavor I do not know. Be gentle and kind with this knowledge. Now go, and eat toast.