The Cheese is Mightier than the Pen?

So I'm at Panera Bread in beautiful, closed-minded Quincy, MA. In front of me: the remnants of a toasted Dutch Apple Raisin bagel, with a smidgen of butter and a layer of strawberry jam. Also: A tall mug of coffee that is 2 parts Dark Roast, 2 parts Hazelnut, and 1 part Decaf. Normally I'd wax digestive on the crunchy, brown sugar topping, or the moist succulence of the embedded raisins. But this is not what interests me today. There is a sign on the wall directly across from my table, about 6" x 8", and this is what it says:

"Asiago Speaks
Louder Than Words."

It's an advertisement for their Sourdough bread with chunks of asiago cheese baked right in. And yes, I agree, this is a tasty combo. Many a high school lunch was dominated by the cheesy girth of an Asiago bagel, which I then pronounced ah-ZAH-gee-oh before a cashier took pity on me and called out the order for me properly. Because of this abundance of bagel, and the requisite chewing, my jaw now cracks and clicks anytime I chew, with the decibal output ranging from a Whisper in a Quiet Library (30 dB) to a Telephone Dial-tone (80 db) to, if the submerged morsel is particularly tough, Sandblasting or a Loud Rock Concert (115 dB). This becomes worrisome when you learn that the level of volume at which sustained exposure may result in hearing loss is a paltry 90-95 dB. This same list explains that "Pain begins" at 125 dB, the same volume as hearing a Pneumatic riveter at a distance of four feet away.

Does it get this bad? When I chew, has pain ever begun? For the answer to this, I point you thusly: Ask my ladyfriend companion.

[LfC response forthcoming]

ANYway... I take slight umbrage (if umbrage may be slight) with this sign, stating the alleged power of this pungent, hard to pronounce cheese.

Louder than words, you say? Scoffing, I stuff the last of the Dutch Apple Raisin in my mouth and spout, "Nothing is louder than words! Words bear witness to the truth of history! Words have crumbled empires! Words have stricken down the influence of false gods, stripped Kings of their bejeweled crowns, stripped women of their underthings, confused readers of congressional bills! Words are power! Asiago? Asiago is but a puddle of old milk left to rot. Nothing is louder than words."

Nothing, that is, except my chewing jaw.