More Impromptu Recipes: Or, How poor young people eat.

Yesterday, I glanced in the cupboard. One box of Magic Stars (generic form of cereal rhyming with 'Mucky Barns'), box of whole wheat thin spaghetti, an old corn muffin. I glanced in the fridge. Half a gallon of 1% milk, some vanilla yogurt, a banana cut in half, still in the skin, browning at the edge. And then I looked to the bottom drawer in the fridge, what I call the "meat locker." Some sliced deli ham, 1/4 chunk of sharp cheddar, half a tub of Roasted Pine Nuts hummus. From a carefully selected array of the above, I made quite a substantial, satisfying meal. I share the recipe with you below, less so that you can make your own Ham, Hummus & Cheese Open-Faced Muffin Sandwich, but that you remain fearless when staring an empty kitchen, and an evening of rumbly tummy, in the face.

Ham, Hummus & Cheese Open-Faced Muffin Sandwich

1 corn muffin, week-old.
4 slices ham, thinly-sliced and smelling "okay."
Small hunk of sharp cheddar, about the size of a print cartridge
3 oz. hummus (quantity approximate, for fanciness sake)
Parkay margarine, scraped from the crevices of that tub surprisingly still there.


- preheat skillet over medium heat

- slice muffin in thirds, length-wise

- drop margarine in middle of pan, or slather on muffin cross-section

- heat muffin thirds for 4 minutes on each side, or until yellow-ish brown (the color of your golden retriever's coat in winter)

- meanwhile, slice cheese into rectangles of desired thickness. Recommended: As thick as the white part of your over-grown thumb nail.

Option a) - slather muffin pieces with hummus, then layer with cheese and ham
Option b) - top warm muffin with cheese, then dollop hummus on cheese, capped with a slice of ham

- pick up as you would a cupcake, eat, and enjoy the thrilling fact that you've made it another day without going to the grocery store.

This open-faced sandwich is a great snack for after a late grad school class, on Saturday afternoon while watching your alma mater's football game on ESPNpi, or any time you wish to impress your friends with your skillet-heating skills. Also: The tang of the cheese and hummus goes surprisingly well with the hearty, mealiness of the corn, and if you've timed it just right, that mysterious translucent coating on the ham will give the dish an unexpected mouth-feel somewhere between "carrot cake" and "chunky bleu cheese dressing."

Happy frugality!