An addendum to 'The Problem with...'
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I just wrote about hot dog buns, dunked in coffee no less, twice in a row with a month and a half between posts. I had forgotten what I wrote about last. Upon reviewing the previous message, I now am met with an important, if unsettling, realization: I need to stop eating hot dog buns in lieu of traditional sliced bread. O Blogger, thank you for this needed epiphanic moment.
Friday, July 6, 2007
The Problem With Hot Dog Buns
The problem with hot dog buns is NOT, as generally conceived, the whole erroneous 'bun-to-dog-packaging-ratio' thing. In fact, the real problem exists within the bun itself. We have a faux-density issue.
The bun seems thick, and dense, like an elephant's trunk, able to pick up liquid and transport it to and fro. Not so. Dunk that hot dog bun (first toasted, then smothered in peanut butter, jam, and nutella) into your hot cup of coffee, and if your dunk is cautious, and singular, you might be able to lift it to your mouth and enjoy the now moistened, soft doughy finger of creaminess and zing that is now deposited in your smiling mouth. More likely, the hot dog bun will have soaked up too much of the coffee, rendering its seemingly stable make-up completely unfit for the carrying of such heavy condiments as PB, J, and/or N. The bun will dissolve; the dipped half might very well split apart at the border between dipped and undipped, and fall right into your mug. Dig out the mess with your fingers if you will, but rest assured, the bun as you knew it is now gone. Your coffee? Forever laden with bits of oversaturated white bread. The morning is ruined. And all because of the problem with hot dog buns.
The bun seems thick, and dense, like an elephant's trunk, able to pick up liquid and transport it to and fro. Not so. Dunk that hot dog bun (first toasted, then smothered in peanut butter, jam, and nutella) into your hot cup of coffee, and if your dunk is cautious, and singular, you might be able to lift it to your mouth and enjoy the now moistened, soft doughy finger of creaminess and zing that is now deposited in your smiling mouth. More likely, the hot dog bun will have soaked up too much of the coffee, rendering its seemingly stable make-up completely unfit for the carrying of such heavy condiments as PB, J, and/or N. The bun will dissolve; the dipped half might very well split apart at the border between dipped and undipped, and fall right into your mug. Dig out the mess with your fingers if you will, but rest assured, the bun as you knew it is now gone. Your coffee? Forever laden with bits of oversaturated white bread. The morning is ruined. And all because of the problem with hot dog buns.
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